GUYS I WAS SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN THE BATHROOM ‘CAUSE IT’S A COMMUNAL BATHROOM AND WHEN I FINISHED AND SHUT OFF THE SHOWER PEOPLE FUCKING APPLAUDED
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK
I’m laughing more than I should…..
GUYS THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO GET ANY NOTES WHAT ARE YOU DOING
are you kidding this is hilarious
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”
"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."
"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"(via infelicific)
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain